Posted by: runawaynotes | August 27, 2012

I’ve read so much about how running a marathon is hard/painful/damaging to your body that I decided to quit… reading.

I mean, there is only so much negativity a person can take before it becomes too much. And yes, I know that most of the times the authors who write these dire warnings about the dangers of marathon running just want to make sure that their readers realize the amount of hard work and dedication it takes to train, run, and finish a marathon. But why does it have to sound so damn depressing?! Yes, I know that I will have to sacrifice the Friday night happy hour in order to get enough rest (and stay hydrated) before a Saturday morning long run. I know that my family and friends will have to be understanding of this major time commitment that I have taken on. I know that there will be a lot of sweat, hopefully just a few tears, and if I’m lucky only a bit of blood on my quest to marathon greatness. I really don’t need to be reminded of this every time I read an article about running a marathon. But for some reason every single author who writes about nutrition, hydration, proper warm-up and cool-down techniques, and other valuable information considers it to be their duty to put some words of caution in their article. So, it almost makes me feel like “Well, you are crazy for doing this, but here are a few tips so that hopefully you won’t kill yourself”. This kind of message is not going to discourage me from running, but it’s still a buzz killer.

So, today I decided to read about something that adds absolutely zero practical value to my training, but does some wonders for my morale. I decided to do some online research on which celebrities have run (and finished) marathons and what ther goal times were. Like I said – I’m not searching for some valuable advice here, just for something that can serve as a good motivator for me. So, here are a few of the celebrities that I will definitely be visualizing when I am at mile 18, limping and sweating, whispering “If they could do it, I can do it”:

1. Oprah Winfrey (duh!) – finish time: 4:29:15, ’nuff said.

2. Will Ferrell. Can’t stand this guy (no offense to all of the Talladega Nights fans). So, the very thought of him finishing a marathon in 3:56:12 will be pushing me forward when I’m tempted to give up.

3. Ezzie Izzard. Now this dude has blown my socks off. He ran 43 marathons in 51 days! – and he can still wear heels higher than mine!

4. Al Roker. This is the guy whose name will be saved in my mental storage box for a very specific purpose. If something goes terribly wrong during my marathon and I realize that I am probably going to miss my goal time by a HUGE margin, I will think of him, and I will tell myself that if he could push himself to finish a marathon in 7:09:00, then there is really no excuse for me to stop.

5. Kate Gosselin. If a mother of 8 can finish a marathon in under 5 hours (4:59:21), I can do it!

6. Freddie Prinze, Jr. His finish time of 5:50:49 might not be super inspiring, but I’ll keep him in mind when I’m running anyway just because I think he’s super cute and I need some distraction 🙂

7. Ryan Reynolds. Same reason 🙂 except his 3:20 finish time is as awesome as his abs. And I will be dreaming about both of those unattainable things as I’m running.

8. George W. Bush. His finish time of 3:44:52 is pretty impressive in itself. But I will be thinking of him during my last mile as I’m pushing myself to go faster becase he’s the dude who ran his last mile exactly as fast as his first one: a cool 8:30 pace.

and

9. & 10. Tatyana Petrova Arkhipova (2:23:29) and Tetyana Gamera-Shmyrko (2:24:32). Now, these two ladies are not celebrities, but they are still a huge source of inspiration to me. They are the two runners from Russia and Ukraine who finished the Olympic marathon in third and fifth place respectively. As a Russian girl born in Ukraine, I’m incredibly proud of these two women, who showed the world that us, Slavic girls, can run marathons pretty damn well!

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