Posted by: runawaynotes | July 28, 2013

Friendship

Friendships are a beautiful thing. They enrich our lives. They lift us up. They are usually based on things like trust, mutual respect, and some shared interests. Except when it comes to me and my friend Megan. Our friendship is based on mutual torture, humiliation, and huge amount of inappropriateness. 🙂

It has always been this way. We met about five years ago figureskating. She was good at it. Me – not so much. But we both took our fair share of spills on the ice, nursed some bruises, and dealt with the embarrassment of having total strangers stare at our bums in tight spandex pants. Well, at some point all that was not enough for Megan. She decided to take the pain and public humiliation to the next level, and she got me to sign up for a fitness boot camp class.

For the next couple of years, 3 days a week, at 6 in the morning, we dragged our butts out to a little park in Richardson, where a tiny Asian lady tortured the living hell out of us. She came up with the most inventive ways to make us use the muscles that we didn’t know existed. She was like an Energizer bunny, who literally didn’t know how to stop. And she lied a lot. Boy, did she lie. I can still remember her yelling: “Get down on the ground, we are doing leg lifts. Just 25! [pregnant pause] 4 sets!!! [maniacal cackling]” And, of course, how can I forget her favorite lie – “One more lap!!!” You would hear this at the end of your third lap, and you would grit your teeth and say to yourself “Ok, I can do this. Just one more lap.” And then, right as you thought that you were finally done, there she would be again – “One more! One more lap!!!” I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to wrap my fingers around her neck and just shake her. But she was too fast for me to catch. But I digress.

So, Megan and I endured this torture for two years or so, side by sweaty side. Then I decided to take our friendship to the next level. And one day (I am sure that alcohol was involved), I said to her: “You know how we really hate this running thing that she makes us do? You know what would be really cool? How about we join a running club?” She looked at me like I was crazy because we had just done a Susan G. Komen 5K that we both have royally SUCKED at (I don’t remember whose bright idea that was). So, she looked at me like I was crazy and said “What a spectacular idea! I think we totally should do this. Now can I have another glass of wine?” And that started our 4 year journey of sweaty hair, chafed underarms (and other places), black toe nails, the indignities of having to change in a port-a-potty after a race, and the misery of having to wake up at 5 am every Saturday morning. And again, being true friends that we are, we endured all that side by side, sharing a couple of celebratory beers after each race and dreaming of conquering longer and hillier distances.

Well, I think Megan has finally decided that we’ve gotten too complacent with our current level of pain and suffering, and our friendship needed a boost. So, she suckered me into signing up for Camp Gladiator. For the next three months, instead of going home after a busy day at the office and curling up on the couch with a glass of wine, I’m going to have to drag my butt somewhere out in Frisco, and then have said butt thoroughly kicked for an hour under the scorching hot Texas sun, surrounded by people who are probably much more fit than I am and will make my 5lbs dumbbells look wimpy and pathetic. But it’s ok because she’s going to be right there with me, just as miserable as I am 🙂

The new torture starts on Monday, and this means that in the next three months the two of us are going to be in great shape, and I will be plotting my answering move. Maybe I will finally convince her that she needs to take the plunge and train for a full marathon. And then I am going to be right there by her side sharing every moment of misery. Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

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Responses

  1. Camp Gladiator! You are braver than I am!

    • I’m pretty sure that between the two of us you are the braver one 🙂


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